How to Have a Socialite Summer
and bring joy to your everyday life now that the World Cup is over
Full disclosure: I stopped keeping up with the World Cup when England lost to Argentina. I had already experienced one of the most gruelling bike rides of my life after Brazil lost to Norway, and I had to make my way across the city after painting my entire face braveheart-style. I’m not usually a massive football fan, but it comes with the Brazilian territory. Every four years, you convince yourself it’s coming home. It’s a huge deal; we paint the streets, kids get sent home early when our team is playing, the plane carrying the team is hosed down with holy water for luck. Once Brazil was out of the running, though, I was ready to don the St.George’s cross, but not in a stop-the-boats way. I’ve lived in London for the past six years; I love a crowd, I love singing Hey Jude and Wonderwall off-key at the top of my lungs, I love watching grown men shed tears of joy. I had some skin in the game.
I also love how football brings people together. I bonded with the other eight people crowded around a stranger’s laptop watching the Germany vs. Ivory Coast game whilst waiting to board a flight. I’ve lost my voice multiple times in the last couple of months. I painted flags on everyone’s faces at the bar; no bare cheeks on my watch. My friends and I have already been reminiscing about the golden age of the group stage when we were watching four matches a day, and you had an excuse to pop over to the pub every day after work. If you’re already mourning the weeklong daydrinking and impromptu hangs, do not worry; whilst the football fan fun might be over, you can still have a Socialite Summer.
Being Kind and Pure of Heart will get you EVERYWHERE (that matters)
Not to brag, but I have a heart of gold. I’ve been told (mostly by Brits) that my extremely earnest demeanour can read as sarcasm, but I was held enough as a child and therefore have no qualms with openly expressing my feelings. Being optimistic and expecting the best from people might make you look naive at times, and I would wager that I get hurt more than the average person because of those expectations, but on the flipside, I also think I’ve had some pretty great experiences that only happened because of that optimism. At my friend’s birthday last weekend, I asked her what was the main thing she’s learned in the past twenty-eight years. Sofia is somewhat of a North Star for me. Part friend, part godmother, she’s the definition of beloved. Someone who’s managed to build herself up without ever putting anyone down, who inspires respect and admiration in equal measures. Whenever I mention her name, people can’t help but gush. She’s had an impressive career; she’s talented and determined and also one of the most nurturing people in this industry. I wasn’t surprised when she summarised the amalgamation of her life experience so far with just be kind. Sometimes you need someone older, wiser and with better hair to confirm your suspicions. Approaching every situation with optimism and enthusiasm has always set me up for a great time, but it felt good to hear it from the poster girl for committing to a skincare routine and leading with kindness.
You Should ALWAYS Talk to Strangers
Where most people see strangers, I see potential friends. Forever or just for a moment, those shared moments are what I live for: asking about someone’s day, dishing out carefully curated recommendations whenever they tell you they’re visiting. I interrupt my catch-up with Jona when the woman next to us asks if she can have our menu and where we’re from. I just love your accents, she tells us, and we get into a long discussion about the best Pizza in New York and London. Jona controversially is not a fan of Joe’s, and I tell her my mother dreams of their caprese slice, whilst I have a special place in my heart for the greasy pepperoni of Prince Street. We’re not far from the Spurstowe Arms, and I tell them to make a stop there for Dough Hands before they fly home. If they’re willing to venture West, Napoli on the Road in Chiswick and Richmond is worth the trek, and the San Rocco is my forever order at Santa Maria. I’m deviating from my usual dirty gin martini (with as many olives as you can fit into that coupe, please; kindness is often repaid in handfuls of olives in my world) in favour of a frozen margarita, and start giving her recommendations and talking her through my favourite drinks. I promise I don’t work here, I tell her after convincing her to get the fries. They’re the best in the city. I have no stake in this operation, but have spent forty minutes on the overground more than once for a platter of salty shoestring goodness, and in the previous week offered some to the table next to us when they asked if they were worth it. The socialite is powered by the joy of chatting to the girl in the bathroom line or the guy whose lighter you decide not to steal; you might not remember them in the morning, or this might be the start of a beautiful friendship. I met my friend Harriet whilst waiting to see Jason Derulo at the club. Sofia made a friend on the Central Line. Everything is possible. Not everyone is going to like you; I can be a lot, I’m not for everyone, and I’ve made my peace with that, but that hasn’t stopped me from making an effort with everyone I meet.
Jaded Cynics Have No Place in the Heat
Socialite Summer requires you to leave your cynical bullshit at the door. A resting bitch face is not the sign of an icy exterior, but instead the product of a dissociative haze that allows you to recharge in the middle of the function. Allow the summer sun to melt your defences, and resist the urge to roll your eyes as you attempt to romanticise your life. The party girl with the heart of gold is always having the best time. The summer socialite’s guiding light is the pursuit of fun, of pleasure and passion. You always run the risk of falling on your face or scraping your knees; the occasional humiliation is a side effect of leading with earnest enthusiasm, but if I have to pick my poison, I’ll make the effort every time. Expecting the worst doesn’t keep you from getting hurt; it just means you suffer twice.
Boots on the Ground Journalism: Asking the Experts
For equal parts inspiration and validation, I reached out to some of my socialite friends to ask for summertime advice. I spent a lot of the past month pestering Aswan Magumbe with a million different [mostly work-related] questions, so she was obviously the first person I reached out to when trying to figure out what every other Summer Socialite is up to at the moment. Whilst many of us are out of the country, we must remember that having a real job should not stop you from fulfilling your social summer duties. Aswan tells me that the (employed) socialite girls are unfortunately at Soho House for pres (and you best believe they will be joining the masses at the rooftop of Shoreditch House the next time the sun comes out) before moving onto speakeasies around the city or somewhere along the Hackney Canal.
No Socialite List (summer or otherwise) would be complete without the contribution of the reigning socialite queen of London and martini connoisseur Hol Harland. I sent her a quick text, and she delivered the Ten Commandments:
1. Smile at people and be open to conversation with anyone in your path
2. This means you should probably stop wearing headphones whenever you’re alone
3. HANG AROUND SMOKING AREAS even if you don’t smoke and even if it’s just to eavesdrop on others
4. Compliment people! If you like what someone is wearing or you think they’re hot, TELL THEM!
5. Become a regular somewhere by going to the same bar or coffee shop again and again — soon they will start to recognise you and you will feel like a local celebrity (though under no circumstance should you ever assume they remember what your “usual” order is)
6. No forced fun. If you’re not in the mood, that’s ok! Go home and try again tomorrow!
7. I’m very into post-work weeknight plans, maybe even more so than the weekend
8. At the bar/club, running away from friends is totally fine, if not encouraged. When you join forces again later in the night, you should have all made some new acquaintances that will join your circle for the rest of the evening
9. Have a martini or several at Bambi or The Dover
10. Things like gallery openings and literary events are IN, run clubs and padel are OUT
Socialite Summer is Not About Stuff… But if You Feel Like Shopping
You can’t buy your way into a Socialite Summer, but there are a few things that can help get you there. A martini (or two) at Ellie’s to wash down an entire platter of fries often does the trick. For the girls on the go, I love the Nuxe Huile Prodigieuse; if you pack nothing else, make sure to spread this all over your hair and body for the best summer glow and an all-over heavenly scent. I’m obsessed with oversized linen shirts with nothing underneath (ideally stolen from a lover but storebought is fine) and silky camisoles. I’m still using my Glossier Haloscope in Quartz, which has been discontinued (RIP, you will be missed), but when that runs out, I’ll be swiping the Chanel Baume Essentiel on my collarbones and cheeks, paired with the Merit Flush Balm for faking a sunburnt look. At the end of the day I burn some palo santo and reach absolution via Aesop’s Geranium Leaf Body Scrub.
furiously taking notes so I can be you when I’m older
Love you, love you, love you ❤️